I always feel the heat. The Sun represents situations/problems to me...they are always present, just at different phases and stages. When you see a problem coming on the horizon, it's enough to make you ball your face up...can't stand the sight of it. When the Sun's on top of you, you can barely lift your head up to face it...you're just enduring through. Once you put that shit behind you though? GOOD MONEY. Walking tall, eyes open, taking in everything ahead of you...you even look back because it doesn't hurt as much, and you have the option of looking away.
Past that...when I was younger, I wanted to monopolize all of the currency in the world...grandeur dreams of becoming rich: All of the money under the Sun. As most people know, (or maybe not) your wallet and heart are opposing forces in life. One seemingly can't flourish without the other suffering a bit...neither will die, just go through Somalian stages if you start paying one more attention than the other. So in my eyes, you have to choose one to focus more on...unless you believe that you can have 50/50 balance.
Anyway...I have this shirt that says "Future Millionaire"...and I wore it to work the other day only to be complimented by a woman who seemed to have chosen her stomach satisfaction over my vision satisfaction. She was like "Ohhhhh I LOVE that shirt!!" Thanks. I can tell you go fishing often, and catch everything in the ocean....except for a return compliment. It was ironic that I even had that shirt on, because I have long since chosen my heart over my wallet. I still can get fly with no wings...get my squirrel on. I'm chasing the nut...pause. As far as my wallet goes? I'm still a 'Bad Motherfucker'...in more than one sense, no Fiction in that.
"When I see you, I'm disgusted...can't believe I ever fell in love with...must've been dusted, cuz you look like SHIT...all them years, they ain't done you no justice (LOOK AT YOU!)" (c) Joe Budden - Under The Sun
This doesn't apply to everyone I've ever dated, but I'll be damned if it isn't true in a few cases. Sad part is, even if we really fell out I never hope for them to have fallen off like Penny Hardaway after Tyra...but hey, shit happens. It apparently happened all over you, by the way...I guess God couldn't hold it til He made it to Heaven's golden laced bathroom facility.
Sorry.
What's even more sad is that it makes me question my love for you...it really does. Of course I'm attracted to how women look first...this isn't an RPG. Your resume and positive character traits don't pop up on the right side of my screen as I approach you and make the decision whether to:
>Talk With
>Walk Away
>Charm
>Insult
>Kick In The Face And Ruin Your Sneakers
>Use Magic On
>Grab a Breast
>Make Her Eat Cake
...that's not how life works. I mean, I still have those options I suppose...but the rest isn't an option. My screen didn't show me your Decline Potential was at a staggering 73%. FUCK! Can't you wait until a later stage in the game before you start bringing the team down? Level 55 or some shit? Then again, by that time, it won't be as easy as just swapping you out for that cute damsel who's Defend Herself rating is 9%, but Cook and Fuck like a Pornstar rating is a whopping 99%...so yeah...feel free to fall off now...
But yeah, anyway...I didn't know you were gonna fall off that hard...I mean, Jesus Harold! He normally doesn't openly condemn me for my choices in life, but after answering one of your prayers, He parted the clouds in the sky and wrote me a message...
"So uh...I just got done responding to a prayer request from _____...I took a quick look at her profile and saw she dated you....I mean, I granted her prayer...it was for a simp to take care of her and put up with her foolish ways or something...but....I couldn't help but notice that she looks like Taraji P. Henson....if she never slept, got wack hairstyles, gained 50 lbs, got three of her teeth knocked out and had stretch marks on her arms...What were you thinking about?? NOT that I'm judging...that's not really my thing...just saying..."
Thanks Jesus. All I can say is that she didn't look like that, and her hair wasn't wack when I was with her....no need to send the "Yeah Right" cloud message...I already know...
May 11, 2010
April 13, 2010
Who are you a Terminator For?
"Society is constantly being nudged towards dehumanization...while machines are becoming more and more HUMAN. Soon it will be difficult to tell apart who is human, and who is machine."
February 17, 2010
First Impressions
The weight of a first impression can have lasting effects...it just depends on if those effects are positive or negative. If a person rubs you the wrong way upon first contact, chances are they will be written off for eternity, barring some deed of good will that forces you to see him or her in another light. But when a person When meeting or interacting with a person, most people refer to the saying, "Put your best foot forward". In a sense, I agree.
There aren't too many things better than when a first impression woos you...and everything seems so right in the world. As long as we put things in perspective, itabsolutely will not shouldn't turn into a depressing situation if your two worlds were to ever clash. The euphoria experienced when that 'perfect first impression' match happens is nearly incomparable, and can possibly lay the groundwork for an excellent friendship/relationship/partnership/etcetera.
However, sometimes a person's "best foot" isn't his or her "real every day foot", and this is where problems usually begin to surface. As difficult as it sounds, (and as virtually impossible as it is to do) it's best to put your "real foot forward" and try to give a person a peek into who you are, day in and day out.
Let me just say this though, don't blame a person who has put forth his or her "best foot", only for you to find out later that his or her "less than best" is pretty damn pathetic. Don't call the person a liar, or deceitful, or not about shit; just be thankful that at some point they trusted you enough/got comfortable enough to be themselves around you. We all deep down just wantpeople to worship the ground we walk on to be liked, or likeable...and sometimes we consciously (and subconsciouly) curb our bad mannerisms for the sake of a more flawless beginning mental portrait in one's mind.
There aren't too many things better than when a first impression woos you...and everything seems so right in the world. As long as we put things in perspective, it
However, sometimes a person's "best foot" isn't his or her "real every day foot", and this is where problems usually begin to surface. As difficult as it sounds, (and as virtually impossible as it is to do) it's best to put your "real foot forward" and try to give a person a peek into who you are, day in and day out.
Let me just say this though, don't blame a person who has put forth his or her "best foot", only for you to find out later that his or her "less than best" is pretty damn pathetic. Don't call the person a liar, or deceitful, or not about shit; just be thankful that at some point they trusted you enough/got comfortable enough to be themselves around you. We all deep down just want
December 10, 2009
Celebrity Deathmatch.
Anyone with a pulse, television, radio or internet access has by now heard about, saw footage, and suffered from update overload on Eldrick 'Tiger' Woods' car accident and personal life crisis. I've sort of held off from commenting on this, other than partaking in jokes in lighthearted fashion and telling women that (yet again) one man's indescretions does NOT make for what EVERY man would do. There are a few reasons why I didn't offer up any concrete opinion one way or another about Tiger's marital problems:
1) The ins and outs of a marriage are the business of only two people - the folks that are married to each other.
2) Everyone in life has made mistakes, or done something that they were not proud of. This should not be mistaken for me offering him up some type of 'it's okay' pass; I am merely stating that we as a society often are quick to morph into stone throwers as opposed to beings of compassion, reasoning and understanding.
3) In case it wasn't made clear the first time, it's none of our fucking business.
An athlete's original 'job' was to perform at a level both above the average, and in entertaining fashion...in whichever sport he or she excelled in. Being a 'role model' and 'upstanding citizen' by someone else's standards was not a part of that deal. I can't stress this enough, I'm not saying that Tiger did no wrong; I'm saying that our focus is in the wrong place. Hypothetically speaking, what if it comes out that Tiger's wife was doing 10 dudes compared to Tiger's 9, and he did it as 'GetBack'? Then what? We just switch how we felt about the situation and offer Tiger a pardon and apology after villifying him in the public eye? How about we focus less on these 'celebrities' personal lives and figure out how to live our own in an efficient manner?
The head coach for the Philadelphia Eagles had problems out of his children that landed him in the news...and there were a few folks who felt that he should get fired from his job because of it. Seriously...if people were to get fired due to their personal lives not being in order, there would be a Recession still...but one with PLENTY of job vacancies. Andy Reid didn't get hired by Philly because they felt he was a great father; he was hired because the organization decided he was the best man for COACHING the Philadelphia Eagles. There is far too often too much responsibility placed upon these 'celebrities' who are (more often than not) as regular as us. If they decide to be activists, spokespersons and public speakers then they should be applauded. But they shouldn't have those EXPECTATIONS placed above their heads. We have become too content with living vicariously through the actions of others, and it shows in glaring fashion.
Yesterday on Twitter, I addressed the pedestal-esque stature of our First Lady, Michelle Obama. Some people recieved my point in the way that I desired and agreed, some disagreed...and then there were some who just missed the bus completely and were trying to wade their way towards having a valid opinion, but in the wrong arena. My intent was NOT to 'hate' on Michelle, (as one person INDIRECTLY accused me of doing) or draw some type of attention to myself (as said person INDIRECTLY accused me of doing as well); my point was that people allow the media to make these 'icons'...yet they wouldn't acknowledge a similar 'icon' unless the media stamped off on it. Michelle Obama is a highly intelligent, successful, well-dressed mother of two and wife to the first "Black" president of the United States, and I applaud her for being all of those things. But there are people who feel that she's got the best fashion sense this side of a Vogue/GQ collaborative fashion show. This, in my opinion, is not true. She's also not the first 'Black' woman to have a degree from a highly respected institution, become wealthy, successful AND married with children. But there are people who treat Michelle like it is so...and that's where my problem comes in. Not only are people (sometimes willingly) blinded by race, but they are also blinded by stature. A celebrity is more often than not placed in a higher respect category than a person who lives down the street from you, that you see everyday, but know nothing about. Why is that?
Also, there is a bit of a exaggeration to certain things when it applies to certain 'ethnic' identities in the limelight. Almost as if the person could do no wrong, or people are afraid of saying so for fear of 'tearing down their fellow brother/sister'. That's called cowardice. Wrong is wrong, tacky is tacky, and a bad move is a bad move...regardless if it's your 'hero' or otherwise. There are people who refuse to call Barack Obama out on certain moves he makes that may directly shadow the moves made by George Bush previously. I don't have a problem with folks not speaking out on different things...but if you cried foul when it was Bush, then cry foul when it's Barack. And that's really all I'm saying in regards to celebrities period. Understand that they are regular people just like you and me. If someone on your block has accomplished something that you would applaud a 'celebrity' for doing, why not take the time to applaud them as well? Why not get inspired by people that you rub elbows with, as opposed to trying to draw inspiration from ANOTHER stranger who's much farther away from you...in life, economics and geography. Stop idolizing select strangers because of their bank account, notoriety or stature in life, when you look right past OTHER strangers who quite possibly hold the same attributes that you are praising on your television screen.
(This issue is actually much deeper than this...I may get around to writing about it, because people don't seem to understand how controlling mass media is, and how certain images are placed in front of us with a certain desired purpose.)
1) The ins and outs of a marriage are the business of only two people - the folks that are married to each other.
2) Everyone in life has made mistakes, or done something that they were not proud of. This should not be mistaken for me offering him up some type of 'it's okay' pass; I am merely stating that we as a society often are quick to morph into stone throwers as opposed to beings of compassion, reasoning and understanding.
3) In case it wasn't made clear the first time, it's none of our fucking business.
An athlete's original 'job' was to perform at a level both above the average, and in entertaining fashion...in whichever sport he or she excelled in. Being a 'role model' and 'upstanding citizen' by someone else's standards was not a part of that deal. I can't stress this enough, I'm not saying that Tiger did no wrong; I'm saying that our focus is in the wrong place. Hypothetically speaking, what if it comes out that Tiger's wife was doing 10 dudes compared to Tiger's 9, and he did it as 'GetBack'? Then what? We just switch how we felt about the situation and offer Tiger a pardon and apology after villifying him in the public eye? How about we focus less on these 'celebrities' personal lives and figure out how to live our own in an efficient manner?
The head coach for the Philadelphia Eagles had problems out of his children that landed him in the news...and there were a few folks who felt that he should get fired from his job because of it. Seriously...if people were to get fired due to their personal lives not being in order, there would be a Recession still...but one with PLENTY of job vacancies. Andy Reid didn't get hired by Philly because they felt he was a great father; he was hired because the organization decided he was the best man for COACHING the Philadelphia Eagles. There is far too often too much responsibility placed upon these 'celebrities' who are (more often than not) as regular as us. If they decide to be activists, spokespersons and public speakers then they should be applauded. But they shouldn't have those EXPECTATIONS placed above their heads. We have become too content with living vicariously through the actions of others, and it shows in glaring fashion.
Yesterday on Twitter, I addressed the pedestal-esque stature of our First Lady, Michelle Obama. Some people recieved my point in the way that I desired and agreed, some disagreed...and then there were some who just missed the bus completely and were trying to wade their way towards having a valid opinion, but in the wrong arena. My intent was NOT to 'hate' on Michelle, (as one person INDIRECTLY accused me of doing) or draw some type of attention to myself (as said person INDIRECTLY accused me of doing as well); my point was that people allow the media to make these 'icons'...yet they wouldn't acknowledge a similar 'icon' unless the media stamped off on it. Michelle Obama is a highly intelligent, successful, well-dressed mother of two and wife to the first "Black" president of the United States, and I applaud her for being all of those things. But there are people who feel that she's got the best fashion sense this side of a Vogue/GQ collaborative fashion show. This, in my opinion, is not true. She's also not the first 'Black' woman to have a degree from a highly respected institution, become wealthy, successful AND married with children. But there are people who treat Michelle like it is so...and that's where my problem comes in. Not only are people (sometimes willingly) blinded by race, but they are also blinded by stature. A celebrity is more often than not placed in a higher respect category than a person who lives down the street from you, that you see everyday, but know nothing about. Why is that?
Also, there is a bit of a exaggeration to certain things when it applies to certain 'ethnic' identities in the limelight. Almost as if the person could do no wrong, or people are afraid of saying so for fear of 'tearing down their fellow brother/sister'. That's called cowardice. Wrong is wrong, tacky is tacky, and a bad move is a bad move...regardless if it's your 'hero' or otherwise. There are people who refuse to call Barack Obama out on certain moves he makes that may directly shadow the moves made by George Bush previously. I don't have a problem with folks not speaking out on different things...but if you cried foul when it was Bush, then cry foul when it's Barack. And that's really all I'm saying in regards to celebrities period. Understand that they are regular people just like you and me. If someone on your block has accomplished something that you would applaud a 'celebrity' for doing, why not take the time to applaud them as well? Why not get inspired by people that you rub elbows with, as opposed to trying to draw inspiration from ANOTHER stranger who's much farther away from you...in life, economics and geography. Stop idolizing select strangers because of their bank account, notoriety or stature in life, when you look right past OTHER strangers who quite possibly hold the same attributes that you are praising on your television screen.
(This issue is actually much deeper than this...I may get around to writing about it, because people don't seem to understand how controlling mass media is, and how certain images are placed in front of us with a certain desired purpose.)
November 21, 2009
A Little Bit of Both...
Heart vs. Mind
The human mind is a beautiful, yet powerfully complex tool. A tool primarily utilized for basic guidance and interaction, despite the capabilities to do so much more. What people refer to as ‘the heart’ is also an equally beautiful & powerfully complex tool. There are times when these two work in sync, from both logic and emotional standpoints in perfect harmony. However, that is more anomaly than normal occurrence. Generally speaking, the heart and the mind often find themselves entangled in a draining and drawn out battle of wits, as logic takes on emotion head first…with neither side seemingly willing to budge. While tumultuous and fatiguing on the mind, body and soul, it’s of my opinion that these internal ‘battles’ are necessary on the path to being a balanced human being.
While there may be those who would argue for one side or the other, chances are they have become so immersed in the trenches of said way of living that they feel they must justify and rationalize their conscious decision to completely ignore the other side of the game.
November 10, 2009
An Open Letter To BET
*the sad part is, this letter probably won't even merit the auto-response w/ the signature stamp at the bottom...*
A Letter to Debra Lee, CEO of BET, from a 15-year-old girl:
Dear Debra Lee,
I’m Janita Patrick, a 15-year-old African-American female from Cincinnati . Recently, I watched the 2009 BET Awards and felt the strongest urge to reach out to the program.. My family is of the typical middle-class variety; both parents and four brothers. See, I'm a junior in high school (got skipped), so naturally EVERYBODY in my age group watches BET. I'm used to seeing the sagging pants, tattoos, lack of emphasis on reading and respecting women that makes up your videos. People in my class live this out everyday, while teachers tell us that we're acting just like the people in your shows.
That struck me as odd, because I would think that with your show being the primary outlet for black entertainers and musicians, and considering the context of blacks in this country, there’s a social responsibility factor to consider. I would never blame BET alone for the way a great deal of my classmates act and talk and dress. Everybody makes their own choices. However, if anybody is aware the power of television on impressionable minds, it’s the people running the television operations. If you are not aware, then perhaps you shouldn't be running the operations.
Guess who watches your network the most? Not those who are intelligent enough to discern foolishness from substance, but those who are barely teenagers, impressionable and believing. It’s awfully cruel to plant seeds of ignorance in fertile minds. You know it’s really bad when the co-founder of BET, Sheila Johnson, said that she “really doesn't watch it” anymore.
I am constantly fighting against the images and messages put forth on your program. What made you think that it’s okay to bring my classmates on stage to dance behind Lil Wayne and Drake to a song talking about boffing “every girl in the world”? Why does reality train wrecks have to thrown in our faces? Are you aware of the achievement gap going in inner-city African-American communities? A report from America ’s Promise Alliance, a non-profit group started by Colin Powell, recently stated that 47 percent of high school students in the nation’s top 50 cities don't graduate. (Fifty-four percent of males of color in Ingham County graduated from high school, compared to 74 percent of white males).This isn’t because of BET per se, but I don’t see any episodes on your show doing anything to counteract this disturbing trend. In fact, your show is a part of this cycle of media depicting us at our worst.
My older brother told me something about profit being the number one goal for every business. I’m not sure I understand what that means, but I do know that your shows have to be entertaining enough to generate viewers, which is how you make your money. But surely our culture is rich enough to entertain without anything extra to “boost” ratings; why the over-the-top foolery? I listen to classmates talk about Baldwin Hills like it’s the Manhattan Project. It doesn’t take much effort to produce a throng of degenerative reality shows, nor does it take much to eliminate socially conscious shows off the air. MTV isn’t much better, but since when does two wrongs ever make a right? It’s one thing for white television shows to depict us in a particular way, but for black television shows to do it is baffling..
Why do you hate us? All of the values that my parents seek to instill in me and my brothers seems to be contradicted by a more powerful force from the media, and your show is at the forefront. Your network is the only network that features rap videos and shows exclusively to children of my color. I know that you have no control over the music that the artists put out, but you do have influence as to how you air these videos. I'm sure if a stand was taken to use the talent in your organization to actually crank out thought-provoking entertaining shows and videos, then artists will follow suit. Being that they need you as much as you need them.
There was one awkward segment in the BET Awards when Jamie Foxx singled out three black doctors-turned-authors, but the introduction was so powerless that many of the viewers had no idea who they were. Had they been introduced as Sampson Davis, Rameck Hunt and George Jenkins, three brothers who overcame major obstacles to become a success without the use of lyrics that berate women, the sell of substance that destroy communities or through raps about loose gunplay, then maybe my classmates would have come to school talking about more than Beyonce, T-Pain’s BIG ASS CHAIN and Soulja Boy Tell Em’s hopping out the bed.
But they weren’t introduced like that. It seemed like a throwaway obligatory tribute to appease some irritated fans. It missed the mark. Big time. Ask Michelle Obama if she watches BET or encourages Sasha and Malia to do so. Ask President Obama. It’s a reason he is the leader of the free world, and it isn’t because of Buffoonery Exists Today.
You’d be surprised how smart young black children can be with the absence of Blacks Embarrassing Themselves. If your goal is to deter engaged, forward-thinking articulate black minds, then consider your goal fulfilled. It’s hard-pressed to think that your shows are working to promote cultural betterment. However, it’s quite easy to conclude that the destruction of black children through the glorification of immoral behavior and rushed production is by design. Poison is being swallowed by every viewer who adores your network, and the worse thing is, these viewers - my classmates - are not even aware what they’re swallowing.
There is nothing edifying for black women on your show. I don’t judge people who do throng to your programs though; I mean, if a jet crashes in right in front of me, I’ll watch it too. That’s why I don’t flip by your channel…I don’t even want to be sucked in.
I have aspirations of acquiring a law degree and possibly entering the public sphere, so I can counteract conditions in my community perpetuated by the images on your channel. So I should thank you, because in a weird sense, your shoddy programming is the wind behind my back. And it is my hope that I can accomplish my dreams despite BET’s pictorial messages, because Lord knows it won’t be because of them.
Sincerely,
Janita Patrick
A Letter to Debra Lee, CEO of BET, from a 15-year-old girl:
Dear Debra Lee,
I’m Janita Patrick, a 15-year-old African-American female from Cincinnati . Recently, I watched the 2009 BET Awards and felt the strongest urge to reach out to the program.. My family is of the typical middle-class variety; both parents and four brothers. See, I'm a junior in high school (got skipped), so naturally EVERYBODY in my age group watches BET. I'm used to seeing the sagging pants, tattoos, lack of emphasis on reading and respecting women that makes up your videos. People in my class live this out everyday, while teachers tell us that we're acting just like the people in your shows.
That struck me as odd, because I would think that with your show being the primary outlet for black entertainers and musicians, and considering the context of blacks in this country, there’s a social responsibility factor to consider. I would never blame BET alone for the way a great deal of my classmates act and talk and dress. Everybody makes their own choices. However, if anybody is aware the power of television on impressionable minds, it’s the people running the television operations. If you are not aware, then perhaps you shouldn't be running the operations.
Guess who watches your network the most? Not those who are intelligent enough to discern foolishness from substance, but those who are barely teenagers, impressionable and believing. It’s awfully cruel to plant seeds of ignorance in fertile minds. You know it’s really bad when the co-founder of BET, Sheila Johnson, said that she “really doesn't watch it” anymore.
I am constantly fighting against the images and messages put forth on your program. What made you think that it’s okay to bring my classmates on stage to dance behind Lil Wayne and Drake to a song talking about boffing “every girl in the world”? Why does reality train wrecks have to thrown in our faces? Are you aware of the achievement gap going in inner-city African-American communities? A report from America ’s Promise Alliance, a non-profit group started by Colin Powell, recently stated that 47 percent of high school students in the nation’s top 50 cities don't graduate. (Fifty-four percent of males of color in Ingham County graduated from high school, compared to 74 percent of white males).This isn’t because of BET per se, but I don’t see any episodes on your show doing anything to counteract this disturbing trend. In fact, your show is a part of this cycle of media depicting us at our worst.
My older brother told me something about profit being the number one goal for every business. I’m not sure I understand what that means, but I do know that your shows have to be entertaining enough to generate viewers, which is how you make your money. But surely our culture is rich enough to entertain without anything extra to “boost” ratings; why the over-the-top foolery? I listen to classmates talk about Baldwin Hills like it’s the Manhattan Project. It doesn’t take much effort to produce a throng of degenerative reality shows, nor does it take much to eliminate socially conscious shows off the air. MTV isn’t much better, but since when does two wrongs ever make a right? It’s one thing for white television shows to depict us in a particular way, but for black television shows to do it is baffling..
Why do you hate us? All of the values that my parents seek to instill in me and my brothers seems to be contradicted by a more powerful force from the media, and your show is at the forefront. Your network is the only network that features rap videos and shows exclusively to children of my color. I know that you have no control over the music that the artists put out, but you do have influence as to how you air these videos. I'm sure if a stand was taken to use the talent in your organization to actually crank out thought-provoking entertaining shows and videos, then artists will follow suit. Being that they need you as much as you need them.
There was one awkward segment in the BET Awards when Jamie Foxx singled out three black doctors-turned-authors, but the introduction was so powerless that many of the viewers had no idea who they were. Had they been introduced as Sampson Davis, Rameck Hunt and George Jenkins, three brothers who overcame major obstacles to become a success without the use of lyrics that berate women, the sell of substance that destroy communities or through raps about loose gunplay, then maybe my classmates would have come to school talking about more than Beyonce, T-Pain’s BIG ASS CHAIN and Soulja Boy Tell Em’s hopping out the bed.
But they weren’t introduced like that. It seemed like a throwaway obligatory tribute to appease some irritated fans. It missed the mark. Big time. Ask Michelle Obama if she watches BET or encourages Sasha and Malia to do so. Ask President Obama. It’s a reason he is the leader of the free world, and it isn’t because of Buffoonery Exists Today.
You’d be surprised how smart young black children can be with the absence of Blacks Embarrassing Themselves. If your goal is to deter engaged, forward-thinking articulate black minds, then consider your goal fulfilled. It’s hard-pressed to think that your shows are working to promote cultural betterment. However, it’s quite easy to conclude that the destruction of black children through the glorification of immoral behavior and rushed production is by design. Poison is being swallowed by every viewer who adores your network, and the worse thing is, these viewers - my classmates - are not even aware what they’re swallowing.
There is nothing edifying for black women on your show. I don’t judge people who do throng to your programs though; I mean, if a jet crashes in right in front of me, I’ll watch it too. That’s why I don’t flip by your channel…I don’t even want to be sucked in.
I have aspirations of acquiring a law degree and possibly entering the public sphere, so I can counteract conditions in my community perpetuated by the images on your channel. So I should thank you, because in a weird sense, your shoddy programming is the wind behind my back. And it is my hope that I can accomplish my dreams despite BET’s pictorial messages, because Lord knows it won’t be because of them.
Sincerely,
Janita Patrick
November 02, 2009
GooD Music: Chicago Love Edition
This isn't a music blog, but every now and again I'll share music that I support. Today is the day that 3Tre decided to release his mixtape "Calm Before The Storm"...and I would #InsertCornyCatchPhraseHere, but if this is the warm up, then what's to follow will definitely be worth becoming a fan. So without further adieu, I present to you:
3Tre - Calm Before The Storm
01 For the Love (Prod. Rob Bates)
02 Boi (Freestyle)
03 BreakUp Ft. Jelisa Nicole
04 Gettin It In (Prod. Phly Phokus)
05 Sweetest Letter I Never Sent
06 My Shine (Prod. III Power)
07 She Mine Ft. Jeremih (Prod. III Power)
08 M.O.B. (Prod. Phly Phokus)
03 Move It On Her Waist (Prod. III Power)
10 HeadPhones On Ft. The Boy Illinois
11 Video Phone (Freestyle)
12 Miss You
13 Hit the Road (Prod. 3tre)
14 I Get it In (Freestyle)
15 Bring the Pain (Prod. III Power)
02 Boi (Freestyle)
03 BreakUp Ft. Jelisa Nicole
04 Gettin It In (Prod. Phly Phokus)
05 Sweetest Letter I Never Sent
06 My Shine (Prod. III Power)
07 She Mine Ft. Jeremih (Prod. III Power)
08 M.O.B. (Prod. Phly Phokus)
03 Move It On Her Waist (Prod. III Power)
10 HeadPhones On Ft. The Boy Illinois
11 Video Phone (Freestyle)
12 Miss You
13 Hit the Road (Prod. 3tre)
14 I Get it In (Freestyle)
15 Bring the Pain (Prod. III Power)
October 14, 2009
Relationship Rehabilitation.
[note: This blog is not designed to demean or single out anyone in any facet. I am not an expert on relationships, nor do I have 'perfect' relationships...but I am working towards MY 'perfect. And pardon the length of this blog; if you need to read a little and come back, that's fine too...]
This is not by any means a pity party for 'Blacks' or an attempt to demean any other race, but I am merely voicing my opinion on the subject for the sake of those that it may help. It appears that we (and when I say 'we', for the sake of this blog at least, I mean those identified primarily as 'Black people') are the 'race' furthest behind when it comes to relationship development...GENERALLY SPEAKING.
Of course, a quick trip through history will give many reference points as to why this is so...but they primarily all point to racism. You can start with slavery if you would like, as that was the major 'event' that began a definitive racial divide. I don't feel that I have to present a review of the things that took place, but to sum up in a quick fashion, every aspect of the 'Black' family was destroyed: Trust, reliability, and selflessness. It's a tad bit difficult to tell which one got eradicated first, and it's probably safest to say that they all eroded around the same time. You cannot rely on a person if you can not trust them, and if you do not have selflessness (regardless of the reason) you can not be relied upon...which means that you can not be trusted. Slaves whom had wives were humiliated in front of them, broken and beaten, until the woman realized that she would basically have to fend for herself, as her 'protector' could no longer protect her. Follow? Trust was few and far between when slaves got together in an effort to get free and were somehow discovered before the plans was even put into action. How were they discovered? Not because the slave owners had ESP; a slave that was devoid of selflessness and filled with selfish intentions attempted to gain favor by telling on his companions...thus creating an atmosphere of distrust and contempt amongst everyone, as the 'snitch' was usually punished alongside the others to not be 'discovered'.
What does this have to do with the relationships of today? EVERYTHING.
If your ancestors are perceived as 'Black', then they were probably raised as 'Blacks'. If they were raised as 'Blacks', then your grandparents were raised as 'Blacks'....all the way down to you. You are not only seen and treated as a 'Black', but you have all of the core 'values' instilled in you, chances are. The 'Black' women have been taught for GENERATIONS now that they do not need a man. The 'Black' men have been taught that their own brothers can and WILL betray them the first chance that they get...so why not betray them first. The men (dating back to slavery) have never had to raise a child, due to being separated from their wives and children...so it's almost second nature to be a 'baby daddy' instead of a 'father', when things don't go right. The women have been portrayed as loose whores who will fuck to get ahead, and have no other use besides popping out babies and raising them to be just like the fathers. The men feel there is no need to be faithful and support a whore, so they don't. Am I reaching with this proposal? There's a chance...but in my opinion it's not likely in the least. All you have to do is look around you and think for a moment.
On top of all of that, women are 'stuck' in a sense because their "I don't need any man to succeed" attitude is offset by America's down-the-nose opinion of the woman in GENERAL...race excluded. So to be a 'Black' WOMAN? It's twice the strike against a person than to just be identified as 'Black'. I could go on all day about the problems, but what is really needed are SOLUTIONS...because we are clearly behind in the 'race', no punchline. How do we re-establish strong community and strong bonds within families?
First, let's address the casual friendships, as I feel these are gateways to strong-ties relations. I'm sure that everyone knows someone who, for lack of a better term, "ain't sh*t"...we all do. And if you don't know anyone who isn't, consider yourself lucky that you don't have to deal with them...but you're not THAT lucky because chances are, you ARE that "ain't sh*t" individual. Anyhow, this individual usually tends to have traits that are less than admirable, yet you entertain his or her foolishness, shoot the sh*t with them, etc. But why? What do you possibly have to gain in this relationship? And you can tag the person/people as associate(s) all you want, but if you converse with this person daily and regularly they are a little bit more than that.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone whom you started out as just "cool" with? Didn't really rock with him or her like that, then one day it just clicked? See: the associate. There's a chance you could fall into an intimate relationship with a person who "ain't sh*t"...but your feelings are wrapped up into things now, and it's a tad bit more tricky to get out of the situation. And in this day and age, pre-marital sex is the rule as opposed to the exception, agreed? Imagine having a child by this "ain't sh*t" individual...now you are intertwined for life, and so are your families. Do you think that typically a sorry individual just springs up out of nowhere in the midst of a wonderful family tree? The answer is "Hell No." So now your family tree is among the same grounds as the weeds that this person was birthed. Congratulations.
Listen, an intimate relationship between two upstanding, good character individuals is difficult enough...especially in the day and age of quick divorces, rauncy affairs and social sites. How much more difficult do you think that bad character traits would make things in a relationship? Difficult enough where one would want to leave, chances are...thus birthing a broken home. My thing is this: associate yourself with people who are of good quality or like-minded, whether in your intimate relationships or casual friendships.
Another problem that seems to run rampant is the ostracizing of one considered to be "successful"...by the very community that he or she comes from. Being considered a 'sell-out' or cries of 'he/she think he/she is better than us' will lead one to want to leave their surroundings and never look back. So instead of one being successful, staying in the community and either uplifting others or showing the way to success, they bolt...never to return. In regards to intimate relationships, these people are also stuck between a rock and a hard place; do they fully assimilate and date within the 'successful' communities, which are more probable to be filled with non-'Blacks'? Or do they date within the confines of where they are from, at the risk of there being a compatibility gap so far and wide that the two merely end up making children and pissing each other off right into divorce court?
Last point...it is common nature for us to look to the media in regards to what a family or 'healthy relationship' is supposed to look like. STOP. I couldn't tell you how many different types of personalities and mindstates there are, but I know that there are too many for all (or even 1/4th of them) of them to be properly portrayed on television in a sitcom, drama, or reality show. In regards to what will and won't work in YOUR relationship, you need to look no further than YOURSELVES. As long as whatever methods work for the both of you, it doesn't matter what they are or what someone else says about them. We are too concerned (FAR too concerned) with what others think, or what others are doing, or what others are saying. If you two do nothing but watch Roseanne re-runs all day, and both of you are happy, then don't let someone else tell you that you need to hit the club and dine out every weekend. That's THEIR truth...let them live it with their significant others. It all boils down to the compromise between YOU and your significant OTHER...NOT 'others'.
Start with this...we can be on our way to repairing not only our casual relationships, but our intimate and family relationships as well.
This is not by any means a pity party for 'Blacks' or an attempt to demean any other race, but I am merely voicing my opinion on the subject for the sake of those that it may help. It appears that we (and when I say 'we', for the sake of this blog at least, I mean those identified primarily as 'Black people') are the 'race' furthest behind when it comes to relationship development...GENERALLY SPEAKING.
Of course, a quick trip through history will give many reference points as to why this is so...but they primarily all point to racism. You can start with slavery if you would like, as that was the major 'event' that began a definitive racial divide. I don't feel that I have to present a review of the things that took place, but to sum up in a quick fashion, every aspect of the 'Black' family was destroyed: Trust, reliability, and selflessness. It's a tad bit difficult to tell which one got eradicated first, and it's probably safest to say that they all eroded around the same time. You cannot rely on a person if you can not trust them, and if you do not have selflessness (regardless of the reason) you can not be relied upon...which means that you can not be trusted. Slaves whom had wives were humiliated in front of them, broken and beaten, until the woman realized that she would basically have to fend for herself, as her 'protector' could no longer protect her. Follow? Trust was few and far between when slaves got together in an effort to get free and were somehow discovered before the plans was even put into action. How were they discovered? Not because the slave owners had ESP; a slave that was devoid of selflessness and filled with selfish intentions attempted to gain favor by telling on his companions...thus creating an atmosphere of distrust and contempt amongst everyone, as the 'snitch' was usually punished alongside the others to not be 'discovered'.
What does this have to do with the relationships of today? EVERYTHING.
If your ancestors are perceived as 'Black', then they were probably raised as 'Blacks'. If they were raised as 'Blacks', then your grandparents were raised as 'Blacks'....all the way down to you. You are not only seen and treated as a 'Black', but you have all of the core 'values' instilled in you, chances are. The 'Black' women have been taught for GENERATIONS now that they do not need a man. The 'Black' men have been taught that their own brothers can and WILL betray them the first chance that they get...so why not betray them first. The men (dating back to slavery) have never had to raise a child, due to being separated from their wives and children...so it's almost second nature to be a 'baby daddy' instead of a 'father', when things don't go right. The women have been portrayed as loose whores who will fuck to get ahead, and have no other use besides popping out babies and raising them to be just like the fathers. The men feel there is no need to be faithful and support a whore, so they don't. Am I reaching with this proposal? There's a chance...but in my opinion it's not likely in the least. All you have to do is look around you and think for a moment.
On top of all of that, women are 'stuck' in a sense because their "I don't need any man to succeed" attitude is offset by America's down-the-nose opinion of the woman in GENERAL...race excluded. So to be a 'Black' WOMAN? It's twice the strike against a person than to just be identified as 'Black'. I could go on all day about the problems, but what is really needed are SOLUTIONS...because we are clearly behind in the 'race', no punchline. How do we re-establish strong community and strong bonds within families?
First, let's address the casual friendships, as I feel these are gateways to strong-ties relations. I'm sure that everyone knows someone who, for lack of a better term, "ain't sh*t"...we all do. And if you don't know anyone who isn't, consider yourself lucky that you don't have to deal with them...but you're not THAT lucky because chances are, you ARE that "ain't sh*t" individual. Anyhow, this individual usually tends to have traits that are less than admirable, yet you entertain his or her foolishness, shoot the sh*t with them, etc. But why? What do you possibly have to gain in this relationship? And you can tag the person/people as associate(s) all you want, but if you converse with this person daily and regularly they are a little bit more than that.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone whom you started out as just "cool" with? Didn't really rock with him or her like that, then one day it just clicked? See: the associate. There's a chance you could fall into an intimate relationship with a person who "ain't sh*t"...but your feelings are wrapped up into things now, and it's a tad bit more tricky to get out of the situation. And in this day and age, pre-marital sex is the rule as opposed to the exception, agreed? Imagine having a child by this "ain't sh*t" individual...now you are intertwined for life, and so are your families. Do you think that typically a sorry individual just springs up out of nowhere in the midst of a wonderful family tree? The answer is "Hell No." So now your family tree is among the same grounds as the weeds that this person was birthed. Congratulations.
Listen, an intimate relationship between two upstanding, good character individuals is difficult enough...especially in the day and age of quick divorces, rauncy affairs and social sites. How much more difficult do you think that bad character traits would make things in a relationship? Difficult enough where one would want to leave, chances are...thus birthing a broken home. My thing is this: associate yourself with people who are of good quality or like-minded, whether in your intimate relationships or casual friendships.
Another problem that seems to run rampant is the ostracizing of one considered to be "successful"...by the very community that he or she comes from. Being considered a 'sell-out' or cries of 'he/she think he/she is better than us' will lead one to want to leave their surroundings and never look back. So instead of one being successful, staying in the community and either uplifting others or showing the way to success, they bolt...never to return. In regards to intimate relationships, these people are also stuck between a rock and a hard place; do they fully assimilate and date within the 'successful' communities, which are more probable to be filled with non-'Blacks'? Or do they date within the confines of where they are from, at the risk of there being a compatibility gap so far and wide that the two merely end up making children and pissing each other off right into divorce court?
Last point...it is common nature for us to look to the media in regards to what a family or 'healthy relationship' is supposed to look like. STOP. I couldn't tell you how many different types of personalities and mindstates there are, but I know that there are too many for all (or even 1/4th of them) of them to be properly portrayed on television in a sitcom, drama, or reality show. In regards to what will and won't work in YOUR relationship, you need to look no further than YOURSELVES. As long as whatever methods work for the both of you, it doesn't matter what they are or what someone else says about them. We are too concerned (FAR too concerned) with what others think, or what others are doing, or what others are saying. If you two do nothing but watch Roseanne re-runs all day, and both of you are happy, then don't let someone else tell you that you need to hit the club and dine out every weekend. That's THEIR truth...let them live it with their significant others. It all boils down to the compromise between YOU and your significant OTHER...NOT 'others'.
Start with this...we can be on our way to repairing not only our casual relationships, but our intimate and family relationships as well.
October 03, 2009
State of Affairs.
Good evening...I am here to report that Chicago did not get the Olympic bid for 2016. In fact, I'm here to report that Chicago didn't even get close enough to get pump-faked into thinking they stood a legitimate chance. Tough breaks...
I'm also here to report that I'm not only unfazed by the International Olympic Committee's decision, but I am GLAD as well. Never has a city with the opportunity to host such a WORLD-related event been so POLARIZING to its own inhabitants. How is it that "we" are clamoring to be good-spirited hosts to nationalities and cultures from around the GLOBE, yet "we" can't even manage enough courtesy for our fellow Chicagoan? And perhaps it's just me, and I'm having a 'moment', but does it not strike anyone else as funny that we were seemingly so STRAPPED FOR FUNDING just a few short months ago, yet when the possibility of the Olympics came around there was suddenly an influx of available currency? No? Just me?
Listen...if things were in SOME FORM of order here, I would have been all for Chicago being the site for the 2016 Olympic Games.............but that is the furthest thing from the truth. This city is in a state of utter and complete controlled chaos and confusion. Furthermore, this is one of the most SEGREGATED cities in all of North America...if not the world. But we are supposed to host the event that is supposed to promote fair competition and unity?
The mayor of this city is by and far putting a plan into action, slowly but surely moving inhabitants of 'less fortunate' circumstances out of 'hot spot' areas and the city as a whole. The Olympic Villages would have only sped up such a plan. For Chicago to have constructed Olympic Villages, they would have had to make room for said Villages. The ideal target area would have been up and down Lake Shore, stretching as far as 79th street. Residents would have had to relocate, take a buyout or whatever plan would work to coerce the people to move, and then the area would be converted with new housing units for the Olympics. What happens AFTER is where more segregation kicks in, as the newly vacated Village would be open for rental or ownership to the 'general public'...if you can afford it. The property value would at WORST double, and the people who used to inhabit the area before it became stomping grounds for Olympic participants and honorary visitors would not be able to afford to move back. We already know who would inhabit the area typically speaking, so there's no need to further address that. HOWEVER, what DOES need to be addressed is the 'cleansing' for lack of a better term of the 'inner' city of Chicago. From the Gold Coast to as far back south as they can get is being purged of 'Blacks' little by little. Housing projects? All but torn down, former residents all but distributed about the city like cards at a poker table.
The thing is, it's not only an elitist move as far as PLACEMENT goes; it's a Boston (ironic term, considering their racism as a city may be the only environment rivaling Chicago's) all across the board. When the construction takes place, it's no small secret that Mayor Daley places "family and friends" in those jobs...and as anyone who lives here can attest to, construction in Chicago is a long drawn out project. Time is money: the more time they take, the more money they make.
Not to say that Mayor Daley has been thwarted due to Chicago losing out on the Olympic bid for 2016, but he at least has been slowed in the grand scheme of things. And I'm no conspiracy theorist...at least not in this case. Pay attention.
I'm also here to report that I'm not only unfazed by the International Olympic Committee's decision, but I am GLAD as well. Never has a city with the opportunity to host such a WORLD-related event been so POLARIZING to its own inhabitants. How is it that "we" are clamoring to be good-spirited hosts to nationalities and cultures from around the GLOBE, yet "we" can't even manage enough courtesy for our fellow Chicagoan? And perhaps it's just me, and I'm having a 'moment', but does it not strike anyone else as funny that we were seemingly so STRAPPED FOR FUNDING just a few short months ago, yet when the possibility of the Olympics came around there was suddenly an influx of available currency? No? Just me?
Listen...if things were in SOME FORM of order here, I would have been all for Chicago being the site for the 2016 Olympic Games.............but that is the furthest thing from the truth. This city is in a state of utter and complete controlled chaos and confusion. Furthermore, this is one of the most SEGREGATED cities in all of North America...if not the world. But we are supposed to host the event that is supposed to promote fair competition and unity?
The mayor of this city is by and far putting a plan into action, slowly but surely moving inhabitants of 'less fortunate' circumstances out of 'hot spot' areas and the city as a whole. The Olympic Villages would have only sped up such a plan. For Chicago to have constructed Olympic Villages, they would have had to make room for said Villages. The ideal target area would have been up and down Lake Shore, stretching as far as 79th street. Residents would have had to relocate, take a buyout or whatever plan would work to coerce the people to move, and then the area would be converted with new housing units for the Olympics. What happens AFTER is where more segregation kicks in, as the newly vacated Village would be open for rental or ownership to the 'general public'...if you can afford it. The property value would at WORST double, and the people who used to inhabit the area before it became stomping grounds for Olympic participants and honorary visitors would not be able to afford to move back. We already know who would inhabit the area typically speaking, so there's no need to further address that. HOWEVER, what DOES need to be addressed is the 'cleansing' for lack of a better term of the 'inner' city of Chicago. From the Gold Coast to as far back south as they can get is being purged of 'Blacks' little by little. Housing projects? All but torn down, former residents all but distributed about the city like cards at a poker table.
The thing is, it's not only an elitist move as far as PLACEMENT goes; it's a Boston (ironic term, considering their racism as a city may be the only environment rivaling Chicago's) all across the board. When the construction takes place, it's no small secret that Mayor Daley places "family and friends" in those jobs...and as anyone who lives here can attest to, construction in Chicago is a long drawn out project. Time is money: the more time they take, the more money they make.
Not to say that Mayor Daley has been thwarted due to Chicago losing out on the Olympic bid for 2016, but he at least has been slowed in the grand scheme of things. And I'm no conspiracy theorist...at least not in this case. Pay attention.
September 22, 2009
Life Change.
I am of the opinion that every so often, it's imperative that a person does some self-reflecting and figuring out how to better her/himself. It's far too easy, especially with all of the advancements and distractions in technology, to get complacent in life and come to a 'stand still' of sorts. I've recently had an epiphany that it's high time for me to figure ways to improve myself for the sake of not only myself, but for others as well. I do some things that may seem weird (in regards to the reasoning), but I promise it makes sense to me.
Things I have done or will do in the near future:
1. Got a new cellphone.
In a move that may have been considered 'foolish' by some, I opted to get a BlackBerry instead of the ever-so-popular iPhone. I've always had a far away affection for the BlackBerry brand, mainly because I felt that it had a more professional appeal than other cellular phones. Not knocking the iPhone at all, as I've heard and seen nothing but wonderful things about and from it, but it's just not for me. For one, it's a touch-only phone and I got more than my fill of touch-screen action with my hTc Touch Pro. Two, it has more distractions than a child with ADD trying to do his homework while sitting in Hollywood Park's Arcade. No offense to those who rock with the applications and games, but I'm almost 30 years old...it's not a good look to see a GROWN MAN laughing and toying with his phone like he just got it for his 16th birthday.
2. Stop cursing.
This is actually a three part reasoning. One, there are many people throughout my life that (for whatever reason) have never heard me curse until semi or very recently, and were under the impression that I didn't curse at all prior to that. I sort of like that...it's different. Two, people (namely children) are influenced by the actions of those around them. I know how I am when I'm around a person who doesn't curse...I try to refrain from it, if for no other reason than to not be the only fool letting F's and S's go rapid-fire when it's usually highly unnecessary. Not only that, I don't want any child that didn't curse or think about cursing prior to passing me on the street or overhearing a conversation of mine to pick up that habit. Kids are wild enough as it is nowadays. Three, my girl is buying into it as well. She curses a good deal, and I just think that it's so very ladylike for a woman to not curse...at least excessively. If she decides to abandon it, that's fine too; she was cursing when I met her so it's not like she's doing a 180 on me.
3. Attempt to actively rehab my relationship with my mother.
Whew. This will be tougher than not cursing, not eating meat and giving up sex. I'm not giving up meat and sex; just stating for effect. There are many scars beneath the surface of our relationship that people may or may not be aware of. I'm not sure if even my own mother is aware of the disconnect that exists. I take that back, I'm sure she knows on SOME level...but I'm not certain that she FULLY 'gets it'. "You think you know...but you have no idea." I don't know, I suppose I've been waiting for her to do the 'grown-up thing' and come forth in admitting her mistakes and wrongdoings...but then it dawned on me: I'm an adult. I don't need to wait on someone to do something that I want done; I can make it happen myself. My only fears at this point are that she will either not acknowledge her actions and blow me off, or that I will get frustrated + pissed and abandon the entire effort. Sounds cold hearted, but I've been beyond the point of 'needing' a healthy relationship with my parents to be alright. I've solved many a problem on my own that no one even knew or knows exists, and I will continue to do so. However, just because a one legged man learns to 'hop to it' doesn't mean he wouldn't accept getting his lost leg back with open arms.
4. Saving and Investing my money wisely.
Another thing I'm terrible at, as I always seem to try and extend a helping hand when I have "extra"...sometimes even at the expense of myself. I've dug myself a pretty nice sized hole with some of my decision making, and I'm finally on the cusp of righting that ship. A major chunk of the 'hole' that I'm in is due to keeping others out of a 'hole', but that's neither here nor there.
5. Start mapping out moves ahead of time.
It's so easy to just 'go with the flow' of life...but that's weak to me. Going with the flow means you are at the whim of the things or people around you...typically in a willing and defenseless fashion. I would rather cut across the current with the possibility of making it across, towards something that I have in mind...not someone else.
6. Choose a path in regards to writing.
This is actually a double entendre. I feel that I need to make my mind up as to whether I shall just write for free with the hopes of positively affecting someone's life, or turn my skill into monetary compensation. The thing with turning my skill into a payday is that I'm more about making positive impact on society than about padding my pocket linings, and inspiration doesn't come with a price tag. Also, I feel that I need to fully throw myself behind one style or the other: Social commentary..........or poetry. Who knows...I'm not even sure which one I'm better at, so I may just continue to pull double duty. *KanYe Shrug*
7. Becoming more open.
This is in regards to writing, conversing and all other facets of life. I'm called the King of Ambiguity by one of my friends, and it seems that others are starting to catch on to how vague and non-descript I usually am. The thing is, with some of the things that I have been through and learned from, I may be able to help someone through their ordeal...or help them prevent it altogether by simply opening up and sharing these things.
So I decided to start with this post.
[Mr. Jolla]
Things I have done or will do in the near future:
1. Got a new cellphone.
In a move that may have been considered 'foolish' by some, I opted to get a BlackBerry instead of the ever-so-popular iPhone. I've always had a far away affection for the BlackBerry brand, mainly because I felt that it had a more professional appeal than other cellular phones. Not knocking the iPhone at all, as I've heard and seen nothing but wonderful things about and from it, but it's just not for me. For one, it's a touch-only phone and I got more than my fill of touch-screen action with my hTc Touch Pro. Two, it has more distractions than a child with ADD trying to do his homework while sitting in Hollywood Park's Arcade. No offense to those who rock with the applications and games, but I'm almost 30 years old...it's not a good look to see a GROWN MAN laughing and toying with his phone like he just got it for his 16th birthday.
2. Stop cursing.
This is actually a three part reasoning. One, there are many people throughout my life that (for whatever reason) have never heard me curse until semi or very recently, and were under the impression that I didn't curse at all prior to that. I sort of like that...it's different. Two, people (namely children) are influenced by the actions of those around them. I know how I am when I'm around a person who doesn't curse...I try to refrain from it, if for no other reason than to not be the only fool letting F's and S's go rapid-fire when it's usually highly unnecessary. Not only that, I don't want any child that didn't curse or think about cursing prior to passing me on the street or overhearing a conversation of mine to pick up that habit. Kids are wild enough as it is nowadays. Three, my girl is buying into it as well. She curses a good deal, and I just think that it's so very ladylike for a woman to not curse...at least excessively. If she decides to abandon it, that's fine too; she was cursing when I met her so it's not like she's doing a 180 on me.
3. Attempt to actively rehab my relationship with my mother.
Whew. This will be tougher than not cursing, not eating meat and giving up sex. I'm not giving up meat and sex; just stating for effect. There are many scars beneath the surface of our relationship that people may or may not be aware of. I'm not sure if even my own mother is aware of the disconnect that exists. I take that back, I'm sure she knows on SOME level...but I'm not certain that she FULLY 'gets it'. "You think you know...but you have no idea." I don't know, I suppose I've been waiting for her to do the 'grown-up thing' and come forth in admitting her mistakes and wrongdoings...but then it dawned on me: I'm an adult. I don't need to wait on someone to do something that I want done; I can make it happen myself. My only fears at this point are that she will either not acknowledge her actions and blow me off, or that I will get frustrated + pissed and abandon the entire effort. Sounds cold hearted, but I've been beyond the point of 'needing' a healthy relationship with my parents to be alright. I've solved many a problem on my own that no one even knew or knows exists, and I will continue to do so. However, just because a one legged man learns to 'hop to it' doesn't mean he wouldn't accept getting his lost leg back with open arms.
4. Saving and Investing my money wisely.
Another thing I'm terrible at, as I always seem to try and extend a helping hand when I have "extra"...sometimes even at the expense of myself. I've dug myself a pretty nice sized hole with some of my decision making, and I'm finally on the cusp of righting that ship. A major chunk of the 'hole' that I'm in is due to keeping others out of a 'hole', but that's neither here nor there.
5. Start mapping out moves ahead of time.
It's so easy to just 'go with the flow' of life...but that's weak to me. Going with the flow means you are at the whim of the things or people around you...typically in a willing and defenseless fashion. I would rather cut across the current with the possibility of making it across, towards something that I have in mind...not someone else.
6. Choose a path in regards to writing.
This is actually a double entendre. I feel that I need to make my mind up as to whether I shall just write for free with the hopes of positively affecting someone's life, or turn my skill into monetary compensation. The thing with turning my skill into a payday is that I'm more about making positive impact on society than about padding my pocket linings, and inspiration doesn't come with a price tag. Also, I feel that I need to fully throw myself behind one style or the other: Social commentary..........or poetry. Who knows...I'm not even sure which one I'm better at, so I may just continue to pull double duty. *KanYe Shrug*
7. Becoming more open.
This is in regards to writing, conversing and all other facets of life. I'm called the King of Ambiguity by one of my friends, and it seems that others are starting to catch on to how vague and non-descript I usually am. The thing is, with some of the things that I have been through and learned from, I may be able to help someone through their ordeal...or help them prevent it altogether by simply opening up and sharing these things.
So I decided to start with this post.
[Mr. Jolla]
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